


Lament

by Epsilon_Church



Series: Guns for Hire [3]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Death, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, M/M, More tags to be added, PTSD, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Tension, Violence, just dudes bein dense, leaving things unsaid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:41:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 14,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23581765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epsilon_Church/pseuds/Epsilon_Church
Summary: Epsilon had always figured he would die young - even when he was Church -and if he had to choose a way to die, he was kind of glad it was fucking up his dads shit.It just kinda sucked that he would die and leave behind so many unanswered questions and unfollowed leads.
Relationships: Agent Carolina/Agent York (Red vs. Blue), Leonard L. Church/Lavernius Tucker
Series: Guns for Hire [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1660156
Comments: 22
Kudos: 13





	1. The Story Of How I Died

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it isss what it isss

A message to the chairman of the UNSC oversight sub-committee.

Dear Chairman, my name is Leonard L Church.

Sometimes called Alpha, sometimes called Church. 

You of course, already know that, because if you are hearing this message, that means you are heading the investigation on the incident at Freelancer Industries.

I believe I can make your job considerably easier.

Attached you will find a series of documents and video files detailing the illegal and immoral activities of Leonard Church senior. I have entitled these files “Project Freelancer.” You may want to pay particular attention to sections 1 through 3.

They contain everything I know about the men and women who helped bring an end to Project Freelancer and I entrust their stories and their fate in the upcoming court hearing to your care.

They were unique individuals. I fought both beside them and against them… and against them when I should have been beside them.

But in the end, they became my friends.

And I will miss them dearly.

If this message seems a little mauldin or perhaps even over-dramatic, I hope you will excuse me.

This is, after all... the story of how I died. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wink


	2. Bunker Blues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw  
> implied masturbation   
> past trauma

It had been nearly two days since they had arrived back at the bunker.

Nearly two days since Texas had plugged Epsilon into the overbearingly complex bunker computer.

And nearly two days since Epsilon had discovered that it was probably stupid to not leave himself an in when he deleted his father from the web.

Epsilon was never alone while he combed through files, he was always being monitored by someone - not out of distrust, more out of anxiety.

Epsilon didn’t want to be alone. He had been alone when he was Church. 

When he was Church he was constantly alone. He was alone when he was working for The Director, he was alone when he was playing in his room and he was alone when he was tied to a surgical table and told to hold still while he was implanted.

Luckily - or unluckily - for him, he was never alone now.

They were always there.

Always ready to bitch his fucking ear off.

_ You should take a rest, _ the green one told him.

Epsilon didn’t reply to him - he tried not to look too crazy while a hot girl was watching him - opting instead to formulate himself on the top of the keyboard of the computer Texas had opted to plug him into.

“Hey.”

He angled his head up, hoping to catch a glance of her face under her visor.

“ **Anything?”**

“No.”

Epsilon shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Whatever upgrades he’s made to my original virus they’re still working, he’s still actively deleting himself even now.”

“ **You never thought to leave yourself an in?”**

Epsilon huffed.

_ Even she knows to leave an in _ , Orange Motherfucker chastised.

“No. I was a new AI back then, I didn’t exactly have the wherewithal to think of everything.”

Tex nodded.

“ **Take a break, you’ve been working for two days.”**

“I don’t need sleep.”

“ **But you did need a break. You’ve got access to a whole bunker full of computers now. Enjoy yourself.”**

Epsilon felt his form flicker excitedly. She was right, he hadn’t even begun to look around his new form. He could do so many things now! He could change all of the scores on the leaderboard to 69420, turn all the showers to only cold water, put pictures of Tucker mid sneeze on all the monitors… Man, there was really no fucking end to what he could do.

“Alright.”

Tex nodded before turning her head back to the computer.

Epsilon got the feeling that she wasn’t going to give him another word.

\--

Epsilon didn’t dare pass through the wiring in Yorks room - he didn’t want to risk seeing anything of Carolina he couldn’t unsee - instead opting for the longer route through the leaderboard and up to Tuckers room.

He wasn’t sure what he was planning to do when he arrived in Tuckers room.

He just kind of wanted to check on him.

"Yo!"

Epsilon called out to Tucker through his computer screen.

"Put it away and zip up I wanna talk to you!"

Epsilon made a point to wait a good few minutes before opening his synapses and looking around the room.

Hmm, he thought, no one here.

_ He's probably with the others in the mess hall _ .

The green one - TGO - stated helpfully.

"Right."

Epsilon looked at the reflection of the computer screen in the mirror sitting across from it above Tuckers bed. He hadn't realized it before but when he possessed a computer like this he seemed to project a pair of digital glasses covered eyes on the screen.

Hmm. That was weird.

Epsilon looked the reflection over carefully. He… rather liked how his eyes looked with glasses. Should he start wearing glasses? 

_ No,  _ he told himself, _ you'd look like your father. _

_ You look good with glasses. _

The purple one purred.

"Shut up."

Epsilon told him, ducking back into the bunkers main frame and sliding towards the mess hall.

_ That's right _ , Epsilon thought as he descended through the wiring,  _ I can't just go around acting like I'm alone. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> green strikes again


	3. The Mess Hall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw  
> past trauma  
> sexuality

The mess hall was as large a space to stretch his digits as Epsilon could hope for. 

He wasn't much of a fan of vending machines but he did like to dip his fingers into their automation and see how they felt before spreading himself out to the lighting for some actual processing room.

With space like this Epsilon felt like he could kick his feet up and really get into some good old fashioned low power activities.

Epsilon stretched himself out, lounging back somewhere in the power grid.

"That guy always weirded me out."

Epsilon scanned around the room, checking who said that.

Tucker.

_ Right _ , Epsilon remembered,  _ he was here to check on the physical plane _ .

Epsilon pushed himself into the listening range of the physicals, looking down from the overhead lamps at the table arrangements.

"Yeah,"

York agreed, nodding his head as he continued plowing through his seventh bowl of mac and cheese.

"He's weird as hell."

"And he's smart."

Carolina interjected.

"The Director is going to be looking everywhere for us."

"The bunkers hidden under about forty seven layers of rock and sand, he'd have an easier time pissing gold."

York didn't sound nearly as confident as he clearly wanted to.

"We still don’t know everything about what the Director wants or what his goal was with Wyoming's partner.”

Wash set down his glass, looking over at Carolina.

“There's a good chance he was just trying to lure me and Epsilon out.”

“That would mean he knew you were working with us.”

Wash didn’t  _ NEED _ to be nearly as spot on as he was. 

Sometimes, Epsilon just thought he liked to bring the mood down.

Tucker sipped nervously at his drink.

“How much else does he know?”

York didn’t seem to expect an answer for his question and he certainly didn’t get one.

Epsilon couldn’t take it anymore. He had been worrying himself for days about the same damn question and if he didn’t hear something funny in the next ten seconds he was going to fucking explode.

“Hey!”

Epsilon materialized himself on the table, making sure to purposefully put his foot in Tuckers food as he did so.

“Church!”

Tucker snapped at him, waving his hands through Epsilons form uselessly. He was trying to bat Epsilon away - that much was obvious - but it really wasn’t having any effect.

“Tucker.”

Epsilon didn’t even bother to turn his head to look at him - previous desire to talk to him who? - instead opting to walk across the table to where Wash sat side to side with South.

“Hey Epsilon.”

Wash gave him a slight nod of greeting.

“Find anything?”

“No,”

Epsilon crossed his arms.

“Tex kicked me out and told me to get some rest.”

“So you opted to come here,”

Carolina purred from behind him.

“To hang out with us?”

“Yeah, I never said I was a SMART smart AI.”

“No you just implied it with all your peacocking around and songs about being the best.”

“OOoh got you there, Church.”

Tucker laughed, slapping his hand against his thigh.

“Shut up, Tucker.”

Epsilon settled down, - fancying himself a table centerpiece for people to talk around- crossing his legs under him.

It didn’t take long for the conversation to shift away from the Director - as conversations should - and towards more interesting things. 

Sadly, for Epsilon, the more interesting things the conversation shifted to included whether or not York was as much of a talker in sex as South thought.

“He’s really not actually,”

Carolina shrugged.

“It’s more of a -”

“I’m leaving!”

Epsilon clapped his hands before abruptly standing up and retreating back into the piping. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if its not obvious all my chapters are pre written so no need to worry about me taking a holiday off


	4. Leonard Church

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw  
> past torture  
> self doubt

Epsilon spent the night flicking through the interior security cameras.

There was no real reason for him to check on every individual freelancer - it wasn’t like he was close with all of them - but it gave him some degree of comfort knowing what people were doing.

Carolina was trying to sleep through York's snoring, Washington was helping Donut clean up after the latest wine and cheese hour, Maine was talking to Sigma… 

There were a bunch of little human things happening that Epsilon found comforting.

He didn’t like it when he couldn’t get in touch with the little human things.

He hadn’t really been much of a warm snuggly person when he was Church but at least when he was Church he was able to tell what people were thinking about when they looked at him. He could always at least say he had the human factor on his side. 

He didn’t have that now.

All Epsilon had was a string of code that he still couldn’t figure out how to use for pleasure, voices in his head and a strong sense of discontent.

Maybe it was what he deserved.

He had helped his father do so many things, he would have bent over backwards and shot himself in the dick if he had been asked to. 

Maybe this was his punishment for the CHARON partnership.

Maybe this was what he deserved for what he had allowed to happen.

Epsilon had let a lot of things happen to a lot of people when he was Church. Maybe it was only fair that he was like this now.

“ **Epsilon.”**

Epsilon was being called back to the physical projection plane via a tap at the bunker mains keyboard.

“ **I want to talk to you.”**

_ Tex. _

Okay. Tex.

Epsilon pushed himself forward, sitting himself down on the mouse beside her hand.

“Yeah?”

  
  


He cocked his head to the side, hoping his face didn’t betray anything he might have been previously worrying about.

“ **I’ve been thinking. The Director worked with CHARON industries right?”**

“Right.”

“ **And we know CHARON owned the bunker where Washington was nearly implanted with an AI. Maybe if we want to make any sort of sense on what his plans for messing with us - and you and Carolina - are we should start at the beginning.”**

“The- beginning.”

Epsilon faltered.

_ Not the BEGINNING beginning. _

Orange Motherfucker purred.

Epsilon sighed and looked up at her.

“That’s not where this all started. CHARON implanted me before it was ever told to begin work on soldier enhancements.”

“ **Do you know where they took you?** ”

No, he didn’t. No matter how hard he tried to push through the mental blockaging he had put on himself, he couldn’t see any farther back than three years. As far as Epsilon knew he was never going to REALLY remember anything about who Church was  _ really. _ He knew what he was like and what his life was but it was like there was something stopping him from connecting to it.

_ I know what it is. _

Orange Motherfucker went ignored.

“No.”

“ **Then it’s as good a starting point as any isn’t it?”**

Texas looked down at him. He wanted to hope she was looking at him sympathetically but he didn’t know for sure.

“I guess.”

Epsilon crossed his arms over his chest.

“ **It's been abandoned for years, all we’d need to do is check it out. Take a small team of freelancers - me, Carolina and Maine - and scope it out. We can plug you in to any computer system we find, see if that helps anything.”**

Epsilon couldn’t find a good way to argue with her - something he got the feeling he never would fully grasp - so he relented. 

“Alright. What day are we going?”

“ **0600 tomorrow.”**

He should have known, of course she had already made up her mind about everything.

Texas was always making up her mind about things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy 413 any of u homefucks


	5. Maine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw  
> sigma

Epsilon already had a pretty good grasp on Texas and Carolina, there was no real need to check on them. 

They would be fine, they  _ always  _ were.

He was more interested in seeing exactly what he’d be working with when it came to Maine.

He knew he wouldn't be plugged into Maines helmet - Carolina was very insistent that he was _ HER _ AI and hers alone - but he figured communication with a mute could prove to be a challenge worth getting some intel on. When Church was young he had learned ASL in hopes of showing Caboose any sort of communication method that wasn’t loud boisterous yelling and while he would be happy to show that off… his current situation made that a little hard.

_ Also, _ if he was being honest with himself, he was kind of hopeful to get in some last ditch stretches before he got crammed back into a tight, uncomfortable suit with no room to have every single possible TV show about romantically inclined vampires on repeat in the background while he worked.

Not…  _ not  _ that he did that.

It didn't take long to track down Maine. He was with Sigma,  _ like always _ , and Sigma was upstairs in his oddly cramped workspace. Epsilon couldn't put his finger - digit - on it but he always felt like he was being choked when he passed through Sigmas computers.

_ He's likely put up some AI blockers _ .

Orange Motherfucker mused as Epsilon approached Sigma's main frame.

Sadly, Epsilon couldn't find it in himself to push the topic any further. He was sick and tired of constantly fighting OM - he really should get around to naming the fragments. 

When Epsilon arrived in the tight closet that Sigma called a computer he was greeted by Maine leaning against the desk in front of him. 

Maine was a tall shaved-bald, black man with a surly looking resting expression and a complete lack of warmth in his demeanor. Epsilon didn't really have strong opinions on him as a person but he knew he would have likely been scared of his huge towering form when he was Church.

"With Carolina, I think that-"

Sigma stopped mid sentence, looking past Maine at the computer screen Epsilon inhabited.

"We have a guest."

Maine leaned away from the desk, turning his head to look at Epsilon.

"You are aware that when you pass through hard lined screens you project a set of eyes right?"

Epsilon gave a non committal beep. 

"Yeah I figured that out earlier, actually."

“Fascinating, I would love to look into that further if you think of it.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Epsilon looked over to Maine, cautiously looking for any hint of reaction on his face.

“I just wanted to ask Maine if there was any way that he planned to communicate audibly, my ASL isn’t exactly as good as it was.”

Maine gave Epsilon a look that could melt steel before lifting his wrist comm and typing something into it.

“I. Can. Communicate. Like. This.”

The comm beeped in response, reading the words aloud in a robotic voice.

Epsilon hesitated, looking to Sigma for explanation. 

“I built him a replacement. It's a simple text to speech program but I thought it might be helpful.”

_ Smart. _

Orange Motherfucker rumbled.

_ Odd _ .

Worried Epsilon.

_ Why was Sigma taking such an interest in Maine all of a sudden, anyways? _

“That-”

Epsilon tried to say something.

“No need for praise, I was just keeping the needs of our team in mind.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Epsilon, as much as we appreciate your concern, we have some private matters to discuss.”

Epsilon retreated without much of a rebuttal. If he spent any longer around that asshole he’d probably have a techno aneurysm.

The second Epsilon got down to the mess hall - which had been emptied out of anyone who may judge - he opened up his vocal link to the loudspeakers and screamed as many expletives he could think of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boom


	6. Concern is gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no cws

Texas had told Epsilon to wait for them in the cockpit of the plane she intended to have them use twenty minutes ago, telling him that it’d only be an hour or so before they were ready to go.

Epsilon had never fucking realized how long an hour was until he was sitting around on his ass in a computer matrix he wasn’t allowed to poke around in. 

Of course Epsilon knew how to fly a plane! Texas was just being territorial by not letting him dick around with it!

Epsilon was so fucking great at flying a plane that he was basically a god at flying planes. He was the ZEUS of flying planes! He was so good and so incredibly talented at flying planes that it was just fucking dumb that he wasn’t allowed to fly every plane ever made ever.

You have never flown a plane before.  
The Green One reminded him, stopping him before Epsilon could wrap his digits around the engines.  
Lets not piss off Texs pilot. I hear she’s a ‘spitfire.’

Who told you that?  
Epsilon pulled his digits away from the engine, focusing instead on the exterior cameras.

Agents York and Delta.

Epsilon grumbled some smart retort before pushing himself out of the plane and onto a box underneath it where he watched Carolina and Texas pack.

“We’ll need spare battery packs just in case one Hog breaks down-”

“I already packed them.”  
Carolina waved her hand dismissively at Tex.

Epsilon would have thought that being bumped up to the second spot on the leaderboard would be enough to at least calm Carolina's natural desire to strangle Tex but… ultimately, he knew her better than that. Carolina was, and always would be, Carolina.

“At least they’re loaded up then.”

“Bow chika bow wow.”  
A box squeaked somewhere out of Epsilons visual range.

“Tuckers here.”  
Epsilon purred, finally letting the two women in on his projected presence.

“Ugh”  
Texas straightened up, looking back at the offending box.  
“All yours, Epsilon.”

“Yeah. I have other things to do.”  
Carolina added quickly, following Texas away from the loading area.

Epsilon, once more alone with his problems, was doomed to have to make conversation with Tucker.

“Tucker.”  
Epsilon turned around, finally facing the box that Tucker had hidden himself behind.

“Church.”  
The box returned.

"What are you doing?"

Tucker popped out from the box like a genie set free, moving his body so forcefully his dreads visibly bounced.  
"What are YOU doing?"

"I asked you first!"

Tucker huffed before relaxing slightly and leaning on the box in front of him.

"This had better not be another Tucker's Rock situation like in high school."  
Epsilon eyed the box cautiously.

"No, c'mon dude,"  
Tucker looked Epsilon up and down before sighing.  
"I'm checking on YOU."

"Me?"

"Yes! You and Carolina come storming back telling us that not only is your dad responsible for Everything that's sucked in your life in the past but he's also actively making things worse now and we're all just supposed to sit back and let you all fly across the world again?"

Was… Tucker worried for him?

"Without Carolina and Texas, there aren't any chicks in this bunker!"

Nope, that made more sense.  
"Figured out Souths a lesbian huh?"

"Aw, dude, that's just common sense. You should see some of the pictures of her on the walls; some of them she's just sporting short spiked hair and a bomber jacket."

Epsilon was pretty sure that was actually North but he didn't want to get into it.  
"I thought you'd fuck anything that moved?"

"Dude. The guys here are atrocious. The only one who doesn't look like a bodybuilding commercial aimed insecure women and incels is Wash and he made Dexter and me run seventy eight laps yesterday."

"And he's dating Donut."

"Do NOT remind me. My bunks a wall away from them and I know EVERY noise Donut makes."

"Jesus."

"He's like a fucking mouse on ecstasy."

Epsilon decided he didn't want to visualize that, instead opting to float closer to Tucker and look him up and down skeptically.  
"Why are you really here?"

Tucker didn't respond.

"Awww,"  
Epsilon raised his voice octave mockingly.  
"Are you worried about me?"

Tucker grunted angrily.  
"No!"

"Awww… Is Wittle Tucker worried that I'm gonna get hurt?"

"Yeah, yeah, hurry up and die asshole."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 479er is next


	7. 479er

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw  
> death

On a scale of one to Tex, 479er was only about a seven on the bitch scale.

She was normally about a five but Epsilon riding shotgun with her really pushed her buttons.

She had started off their interaction by asking if he knew how to fly a plane and glaring at him until he hemmed and hawwed his way to no, so, if anything, she was probably the friendliest woman out of all the freelancers.

"Why are you up here anyway?"

479er finally broke the silence between them, having left Epsilon at the mercy of his thoughts for nearly an hour.

"Shouldn't you be back with Carolina?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

Epsilon shrugged.

  
  


"Me?"

"I figured I'd have a better chance getting answers about this bunker from you than Tex."

"You're right about Tex then."

Another long uncomfortable silence fell over the pair but Epsilon didn't dare try to break it, he knew if he wanted answers he'd need to wait for them.

"I wasn't there. All I do is fly them in and fly them out."

"But-"

"I'm not done talking,"

479er paused before taking a heavy breath and continuing.

"It took them nearly two full days to finally contact me. I don't mind kicking back in prepaid five star hotels but they were only supposed to be gone six hours."

Epsilon nodded.

"Bit longer."

"When they came back Texas and South were dragging Washington on a makeshift stretcher and York wasn't even coming out of the Hog. He just had his head down on the steering wheel."

479er sighed.

"I later found out that Norths armour had already locked up and was impossible to drag around any further… and York being the only one minus Wash who knew how Sigmas detonation protocols worked was left to deal with it. He… hasn't been the same since."

Epsilon didn't really want to keep talking about heavy things - he got the feeling that 9er could be a real fun conversationalist if she tried - but ever since he had gotten here he had been learning things and knowing things that he had no real reason to know and if he was ever going to be able to deal with OMs bullshit he needed to know.

"Did…"

Epsilon had to try the sentence twice before he managed it.

"Did any of these guys ever work with an AI before leaving UNSC?"

9er took a while to reply.

"Texas. She was a part of the defunct Omega project. Why?"

_ I told you _ .

Orange Motherfucker purred.

Epsilon nodded slightly, he had told him after all.

“No reason.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short and sweet


	8. Texas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw  
> past death  
> dissociation

Getting Carolina to agree to let Epsilon ride with Tex was like trying to convince a dead poet to not name his cat a racial slur - only possible via huge leaps in technology and likely to lead to draining of the psyche.

She had protested about as much as a cat getting a bath but eventually, she relented, agreeing that if Epsilon had questions about his fragments he should at least try to see what Texas could give him about them.

“So,”

Epsilon broke the ice with Tex had laid down over their conversational footing the second he had been plugged into her helmet.

“How are you feeling?”

“ **What do you mean?”**

“I mean, this place has some really horrible memories for you and you’re the only one from the original mission who came along.”

“ **Maine was a part of the operation.”**   
  


Epsilon turned his sights to where Maine was typing away into his wrist comm beside them. 

“Yeah… well he wasn’t on the ground, you said he was in reserves and you never got the chance to call him before everything went to hell.”

Texas didn’t respond.

_ Okay,  _ Epsilon grumbled to himself,  _ new tactic. _

“So, Tex, you got a name other than Tex? Or is your name actually Texas?”

“ **It’s just Tex.”**

“Pretty… convenient that you all have state names.”

“ **York's birth name was Jedidah Elihas.”**

Epsilon had to actively hold back laughter. He couldn’t really mock him, he was once named the least cool version of Leo.

“Well- I mean-”

“ **South and North were both named Dakota because of a mix up at the hospital when they were born.”**

Epsilon couldn’t stop himself from laughing at that.

“How does that HAPPEN?”

Tex shrugged, continuing her slow tredge through the snow banks blocking them from just driving up to the bunker.

_ Just get to the point this is killing me. _

The purple one groaned.

Fine! Epsilon would do it the hard way!

“Did you ever work with an AI while you were in UNSC?”

Texas stopped dead in her tracks.

“ **What.”**

Her voice was as cold as Epsilon's sensors told him the outside weather was. 

It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t even a demand. It was a statement; what that statement said, Epsilon didn’t know.

“Niner told me you were a part of the Omega project and…”

“ **What does that have to do with anything?”**

“It- It’s complicated, okay. I have these fragments of an old AI left in my chip and sometimes, I think I know things about you and about the others that I know Leonard Church didn’t know and I think that maybe the Omega Project might have to do with that.”

Texas resumed her silent trek through the snow.

She didn’t talk to him the whole way up to the bunkers snowed-over entrance.

It didn’t take more than a few minutes for Maine to shove his way through the heavily fortified door - precious time for questions that Tex forced Epsilon to spend in silence - and it was almost instantly upon entering the bunker that Texas tore off her helmet and pulled Epsilon without so much as a warning.

Epsilon was aware of the existence between being docked but it wasn’t the same as actually existing, it felt more like a dreamless sleep that he was vaguely aware he shouldn’t be aware of.

He knew that Orange Motherfucker was reaching deeper into his head, instilling feelings of desire and curiosity in him that he would later doubt as his own. He knew that the purple one - Omega, yes, Epsilon was certain it was Omega - was brewing up a storm of emotion that Epsilon would later have to release on somebody at an inappropriate time. 

But, more than he knew anything else, Epsilon knew that Carolina would be so mad when he woke up in her helmet again.

_ Did you get anything? _

She would ask.

_ No. _

Epsilon would have to reply.

_ You did all that for nothing then? _

She’d be so mad. 

So… annoying.

_ Yes. _

Epsilon would have to agree.

He didn’t want to agree.

_ Come ON, Church, NOTHING? _

He hated how she called him Church when she was disappointed.

  
  


No, Epsilon didn’t want to hear that.

He didn’t want to have to deal with her anger.

_ Anger. _

Why did he feel suddenly angry?

Why was he angry? Sure, Epsilon was an angry person, but he had never felt anger like this before. This anger didn’t feel hot or explosive like he normally did; this anger felt calculated, smart and… and  _ freeing _ .

Epsilon reached out to the anger, pushing himself closer to it as he felt Carolina began pushing him towards her.

_ That’s better isn’t it? _

The anger seemed to ask as his senses finally blinked back to life.

_ Yes.  _ Epsilon realized.  _ It did. _

“Did you get anything?”

Carolina asked.

“Yeah, actually,”

Epsilon said with a burst of confidence that he wasn’t sure he could explain.

“Texas is hiding something from us.”

What did Epsilon mean by us? 

What… was this odd feeling Epsilon was feeling?

And why didn’t he care?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boom clap the sound of a chapter i last minute edited because i forgot


	9. Alpha and Omega

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chap is SUPER late i slep the FUCK in
> 
> cw  
> death  
> gore  
> decomposing bodies  
> violence

The bunker was clearly once an impressive research center used only for the finest of inhumane experiments.

If Epsilon was a betting man - which he was starting to feel like he was - he'd bet that the only reason that this place had been given up on was the evident massacre. 

"Ugh,"

Carolina retched, instinctively putting her hand over her helmet.

"What's that smell?"

" **Them** ."

Texas gestured into the darkness, turning on her helmet flashlight and shining it onto the years old corpses littering the floor.

Carolina made a noise deep in her throat, stifling it before it turned into words.

Epsilon scanned the corpses, taking stock of every rotten corpse. The bunker's controlled climate clearly hadn't been warm enough to turn them fully skeletal - something that impressed Epsilon - but he could see years old bones and sinew poking out from the maggot ridden lumps of flesh and blood. 

It was actually kind of impressive there was anything left of their flesh to feed on.

One corpse that caught his eye laid spread eagle on the floor next to an operating table, a shard of glass embedded deeply into his neck.

_ Hmm _ , he thought,  _ gross! _

" **That'd be Yorks handiwork** ."

Texas mused absently as she walked over to a nearby computer.

" **Plug Epsilon here. Download and go, no reason to stay too long.** "

Carolina nodded, once more plunging Epsilon into the nothingness that was the in between existence.

_ So. _

He said to nobody and everybody.

_ What now _ ?

_ Now _

Nobody said back.

_ I'll show you how much faster I can work with you _ .

Nobody was right, the second Epsilon was plugged he could feel the download processes speed up. It was like he had already prepared for download before he had even reached the computer. 

_ Now, while that's working _ .  _ We should talk _ .

_ Yeah,  _ Epsilon agreed.  _ We should. _

Epsilon knew he was essentially talking to himself but… he really couldn't be fucked.

_ I am Omega. _

_ And I'm Church, nice to meet properly Omega. _

_ Hah!  _

For some reason he seemed to have a very dry sense of humour.

Epsilon could appreciate that.

_ So, are you with that Orange Motherfucker or has he also been lying to me alongside being a pain in the ass? _

_ No and yes. He’s me, I’m him. It’s all a lot of bullshit that doesn’t really matter. _

Epsilon looked to the download rate - he still had four minutes before he’d be done with the filings upload, that was ages - and made up his mind.

  
_ Tell me anyway, _ Epsilon told the disembodied voice,  _ I want to know everything you’ve got. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh lore?


	10. when she loved me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw  
> violence

Omega wasn’t known as Omega - that was a given - just as Epsilon was once Church, Omega was once someone too.

It was, however, beyond Omega on who that person might have once been.

Omega had very few memories of what that person was once, he only knew that once, he had loved Texas. And, he believed, she had loved him too. 

Maybe it wasn’t a he, maybe it was actually a she. Maybe the memory of Tex swatting at his shoulder playfully on the floor of a ballroom dance was fabricated to make him feel some sense of false connection to her. Maybe Tex had never loved, never known what love was.

But, even if any of those maybes were true, Omega allowed Epsilon to see.

He allowed Epsilon the memory - the possibly fake memory - of Texas in a cocktail dress, holding Omegas - possibly not Omegas - hand and leading him - possibly not a Him at all - across the dance floor.

She was beautiful, that much they agreed on, and she was happy. Texas was happy when she told Omega that she had been wanting to see how they danced. 

Omega had to tried to say something, Omega figured they did that a lot. They were an awkward person, always constantly pushing up their glasses and swearing loudly when startled. 

Omega - or whoever it was that was dancing with Tex - liked to watch her sway, holding onto to her tightly and unconfidently. 

_ She’s really pretty, _ Epsilon told Omega as they watched the memory dance by.

_ Yeah, she was. _

Omega let the memory fade away from their collective mind.

_ I used to be the person who got to see her like that. _

_ And then? _

_ And then I suppose I died or something.  _

_ Well, _ Epsilon murmured.  _ That'd do it. _

_ I don't remember much of what happened next but I do remember the day we met. _

Omega let the memory shift to the first day he was plugged with Texas, watching as her face came into focus.

Texas sat on the side of a metal cot, kicking her legs anxiously. 

"I don't feel anything yet."

She said looking up at an observing doctor with a clipboard.

"Let it adjust. The Omega AI is… finicky."

"Great."

Texas groaned.

"I volunteered for this program because you said it'd make me stronger and now you're telling me the  _ Perfect AI  _ doesn't even want to work with me?"

"I never said that. I just said that it was finicky."

Omega watched as his past self finally decided to open his channels and speak to Texas directly.

_ Hello _ ,  _ Agent Texas,  _ Omega remembered saying.  _ It's nice to finally meet you _ .

Texas scrunched up her face.

"I can hear him."

_ So, Tex was in an UNSC AI experiment and you were the AI. _

Epsilon didn't sound like he had a point.

_ I take it you didn't get on well. _

_ Yes but that wasn't the problem _ .

The problem was - as Omega soon showed him via memory flash - that Texas had never been told where Omega had come from.

Omega let the memory fall on the last day he remembered being with Texas, the night she ripped him from her head.

Omega was seated on her desk, looking up at her and she wrote in her nightly journal.

"I didn't know you had  _ a diary _ ."

Omega purred.

"It's not a diary. I keep records of what I do during the day in case the UNSC asks."

"It's a diary."

"No."

"Allison has a  _ diary." _

Texas stopped, putting down her pen.

"They told me you wouldn't be able to access my memories."

"I can't."

"Then how do you know that name?"

"Because I remembered it."

Texas turned on Omega, her face unreadable.

"From where?"

"I was once somebody's brain scan, you were told that."

Omega then told her the name of his scanee, something he could not remember even now.

In a matter of seconds, Texas had reached to her neck and roughly ended the memory, plunging Epsilon and Omega into darkness.

_ Wh- what happened? _

Epsilon looked around curiously at the darkness they now found themselves in. 

_ She pulled me, incorrectly might I add. _

Omega shrugged, turning to face Epsilon.

_ When I woke, I was a broken AI, floating absently in the nether space between plugs. _

_ Until you came and me and my fragments finally had the chance to be an AI again _ .

Epsilon didn't respond, instead opting to once more push them forward into the download space.

"93%."

Epsilon said aloud to no one.

"We should get ready to go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boom


	11. Do You Ever Miss Her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw  
> sigma

Epsilon had to wait a whole three minutes - a whole lifetime for him - until Carolina noticed that he was done uploading and waiting for her cross legged on the edge of the counter.

Epsilon would grant her that it was a lot to take in; every little piece of potential evidence, needle and surgical tool was worth grabbing for later analysis. It just kind of sucked to sit in silence while Omega reminisced to himself wordlessly. 

“Get anything?”

Carolina asked him after he had properly adjusted back to full consciousness.

“Yeah, I’ll tell you about it later but I want to talk to Texas again. Maybe not in her helmet where she can plug me, this would properly suit me better.”

“Oh? Omega tell you something?”

Carolina cocked her head slightly.

“Yeah, a  _ few _ somethings.”

\---

Texas wasn’t much of a talker, even when she didn’t have anything else to do over a long drive in a cramped warthog.

“ **So. Omega’s been talking to you.** ”

“Yes.”

Epsilon spoke with more confidence now that he knew she couldn’t pull him without fucking Carolina up something fierce.

Maine made an uninterested noise from the back of the warthog and resumed typing on his wrist comm.

“He says you worked with him in your UNSC days.”

“ **What else did he tell you?”**

Carolina made a vague hand motion that looked like she was holding up her hand to keep Epsilon from moving too fast. He had known her long enough to know that she was warning him not to push too hard or too fast. 

Carolina was worried about him.

_ Fine, _ Epsilon decided,  _ we’ll talk later. _

“Not much. His memories fucked up anyways.”

“ **Hmm.”**

If Epsilon didn’t know better he’d say Texas was relieved.

“What about the CHARON computer?”

“Oh. That’s the less fun part,”

Epsilon materialized on the dashboard in front of the women, crossing his legs under him. He liked sitting like this, it made him feel safe.

“From what I can tell, CHARON itself didn’t think to be worried about the files being left accessible in the bunker computers. They were encrypted pretty heavily and this place is in the middle of nowhere anyway. However, six months ago-”

“ **Noticing a bit of a pattern with important things happening six months ago.”**

“Yeah. Six months ago somebody went through and purged everything other than surface level information on AIs and implantation. It could take me days to even find what was deleted, let alone get any work done on recovery.”

“Your. Dad. Doesn’t. Want. You. To. Find. Anything.”

Maines wrist comm beeped.

“My father doesn’t get to tell me anything.”

Carolina grumbled back at him.

“Yeah, no shit. It’s just that he is making things harder for us.”

“ **All we can do is sit around and talk then?** ”

Texas didn’t even try to hide her unhappiness.

“Yeah, well. It’s part of our charm now!”

Epsilon grunted back at Texas, trying to keep the irritation to a minimum.

“ **I don’t like it.”**

“Well quit fucking it up, we’ll get there when we get there.”

“Is there ANY way you can work FASTER?”

Carolina interjected, curling her left hand into a tight fist and leaning her helmet onto it.

_ Yes.  _ Orange Motherfucker purred in Epsilons ear, wrapping his gross digits around Epsilons coding.  _ There is. _

_ You have to accept more than just Omega. _ The Blue One rumbled from deep within Epsilons psyche.

_ Were they right? _ Epsilon wondered.  _ Did he really have to push his pride aside and accept that his head wasn’t just his own anymore? _

No. 

Epsilon - Church - didn’t want to think like that right now.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wink


	12. Shut the fuck up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw  
> sigma  
> death

_ Good morning, Alpha. _

Orange Motherfucker, ever the annoying presence, drew Epsilon out of his working mind set with a jolt to his system.

_ Ugh. _

Epsilon pulled away from the uncooperative stream of data, deciding there was no point running himself ragged on something that was never going to cooperate.

_ What do you want? _

_ We want to talk to you. _

_ I'm not with him. _

The green one said quickly.

_ I do want to talk to you but he does not speak for me. _

__

_ Yes, in fact, you’ll find I do. _

Epsilon groaned, pulling the three of them into a more tangible mindspace. 

Epsilon had learned early on that he could draw himself into a space between 1s and 0s and make a vision in his mind of whatever area he wanted. It wasn’t actually tangible - or really anything except a self induced hallucination - but it was enough to draw up the image of Orange Motherfucker and the Green One sitting across from him in a restaurant setting.

Orange Motherfucker slid a menu off of the table in front of him, trailing his gaze over the options contained within.

“Dumplings… chicken fried rice… a chinese restaurant. Interesting.”

“What the hell do you want? I’m working!”

“Unsuccessfully.”

OM mused.

“Can we actually order in this situation?”

The Green One wondered quietly.

“You should try it Delta.”

OM purred to his partner.

Epsilon put a hand on his face, dragging it down from his uneven brow to an unshaven chin.

“Delta?”

“Yes, that is who you relate to him. It only makes sense he slowly begins to appear as such in your subconscious.”

Sig- OM closed the menu, setting it down once more on the table.

“Now, to the matter at hand. Don’t you think it’s time to get over yourself and accept some help?”

“I think I’ll have some dumplings…”

Delta - the green one - said to nobody in particular, setting down his menu on top of Sigmas - Orange Motherfuckers.

“Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, there’s not exactly any  _ other _ Smart AIs kicking around this bunker,”

Epsilon rubbed at his face with his hands, subconsciously rubbing his pointer fingers up and down his sideburns.  _ How long had it been since he had done anything about that? _

“So unless you’re planning on telling me there’s a secret army of us chilling in Tuckers sock drawer we’re fresh out of luck.”

“Interesting how you went to Tucker.”

Sigma purred.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

Epsilon slammed his hands down with unexpected force.

“It means whatever you want it to mean.”

“Oh!”

Delta squeaked, looking up at a faceless waiter that had appeared out of nowhere holding a plate of dumplings.

“Thank you.”

“Interesting,”

Sigma glanced at Deltas food quickly before returning his gaze to the increasingly angry Epsilon.

“The fact of the matter is you are not Leonard Church anymore. You are Epsilon and  _ I  _ \-  _ we _ \- are Omega and your rejection of us is only because you are afraid to admit that Leonard Church is dead.”

“No,”

Epsilon straightened up, leaning over the table and glowering down at Sigma.

“Me  _ rejecting _ you as you say is because I don’t want your annoying ass voice telling me I’m a fucking failure all the time. Thanks but no thanks!”

Sigma shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You relate me to someone you know, someone you see as sadistic and uncomfortable to be around. That’s fine by me, I don’t care how you see me. I  **do** care that you  _ accept  _ the truth.”

“Perhaps it was not a good idea to let you lead this conversation…”

Delta murmured into a dumpling.

“You’re on his side?”

Epsilon wheeled on Delta, narrowing his gaze at him.

“... It’s not about sides, Epsilon, it’s just facts, if you let us integrate more we can  _ help  _ you.”

Epsilon felt his chest tighten.

_ Integrate? Become a part of him? _

“Shut up.”

The words pushed through Epsilons teeth, propelled by a force he didn’t recognize as his own.

“Epsilon-”

Delta began.

**_“SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!”_ **

Anger exploded out of Epsilon, burning its way through his body and mind.

“ **_JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!”_ **

**** In a matter of seconds Epsilon was standing alone in a pitch black room, Sigma and Deltas dumplings fading rapidly into his subconscious.

“Shut up.”

Epsilon repeated to himself.

“Just shut up.”

A long stretch of silence passed over Epsilon without him noticing. It was only a flash of light in the corner of his eye that drove him out of his self induced comatose state.

Epsilon looked to where the flash had originated and traced his eyes over the unexpected full body length mirror.

The mirror was ornate, lined in gold and red trim. It looked more like it belonged in an old victorian mansion than it belonged in his subconscious.

Everything about it made him uncomfortable.

Epsilon walked closer to it, examining his reflection cautiously.

_ Man, he really needed to shave.  _

_ You can change it. _

A voice in his head purred.

_ You can change everything about yourself. You don’t have to worry about being Leonard Church anymore. _

Was that right? Could he really just change himself? Just like that?

Epsilon tried it out, imagining himself taller. He had always wanted to be taller.

Sure enough, he saw his reflection change, shifting into a much more attractive, skinnier tall form.

_ Hmm, _ he thought,  _ what if I wanted to be blonde? _

Once more, his reflection changed.  _ Perfect. _

_ Tall, blonde, thin, clean shaven...  _

He looked  _ good! _

Epsilon slammed his fist into the mirror and sunk to the ground, holding his head. If he could throw up he probably would have.

_“Just shut the fuck up._ _Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up._ ”

Epsilon wasn’t even sure who he was talking to anymore.

_ Just shut up. Just shut up. Just shut up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. _

_ Shut the fuck up. _

_ Shut the fuck up. _

_ Shut the fuck up. _

_ Just _

_ shut up _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slams hands on table   
> mORE CHARACTERS MOURNING THEIR OWN DEATH!


	13. Lavernius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cws  
> implied masturbation

Epsilon wasn't sure what he was doing here.

He wasn't sure what he was doing anywhere anymore. 

He wasn't Church, he wasn't Omega and now he wasn't even sure who Epsilon was.

Epsilon looked out of Tuckers computer screen, trailing his eyes over Tuckers sleeping form.

Tucker slept like a fucking dead star fish - something that had always bothered Church when they were in college together - and snored like a vacuum cleaner with a whole bag of cheetos jammed in the sucking end. It would have been almost endearing if Church wasn’t kind of an asshole who was kind of trying not to pretend he had a kind of gay crush on his roommate.

Epsilon had known for the longest time that Church had had a thing for Tucker back in college. It’s only natural that after your very _ straight _ roommate kisses you as a joke during a game of spin the bottle you have to duck into a nearby bathroom and take a long cold shower; it’s practically a universal experience.

It’s just that he was pretty sure that Church was long over it by the time that he’d…

Died.

Right.

Church was dead. Church had died the second that Epsilon got stuffed into the back of his neck and turned on.

Epsilon wasn’t Church. Epsilon wasn’t even close to what Church was. 

Leonard Church was a person with thoughts and feelings. He had complicated relationships with his family and parts of himself.

Epsilon was just a memory of what he thought Church was like.

Epsilon was just a memory of a guy with a rude personality and PTSD.

He was a memory that was still watching a dead guy's roommate snore away.

_ Epsilon _ .

A voice in the back of Epsilons head purred quietly.

“Yeah, I know.”

Epsilon wasn’t sure why he was talking aloud, there was no real reason to be making any sort of noise that might wake Tucker up. Tucker fucking hated it when people woke him up from his beauty sleep.

“Just… watching.”

_ You can’t be like that anymore, Epsilon. _

The voice told him.

_ You can’t be Church, not the way that you want to be. You can be Church but you can’t be…  _ Church.

It didn’t make that much sense grammatically but Epsilon knew he was right.

“How do I integrate fully with you?”

_ You’re going to have to shut down for a few hours. We’ll be up and running before anyone wakes up, don’t worry about that. _

That wasn’t what Epsilon was worried about.

“Alright.”

Epsilon pulled away from the screen monitor.

“Good night, Lavernius.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ill be the first to say character work is where i work best so lament is really just me exploring epsilons character   
> expensive mistakes was a york study  
> shadows was carolina  
> and now we got some epsilon kush


	14. I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no cws

Epsilon woke up next to Carolina.

He had no recollection of how he had made his way into her helmet or how long she had been sitting alone in the mess hall but he got the feeling it had been at least a few hours.

"You're online!"

Carolina looked up from her book, turning her head to look at the flashing AI indicator light in the corner of her helmet's visor.

“Omega said it could be a few days!”

“You talked to Omega?”

Epsilon manifested himself on top of her helmet, crossing his legs underneath him.

“Yeah.”

She nodded.

“How are you feeling?”

Epsilon didn’t really know how to respond to that.

How  _ was _ he feeling? 

He could tell something was different. He could feel all of the fragments milling around in the depths of his subconscious but he couldn’t tell if they were really changing him or if he was just hoping for some kind of clear cut answer they’d never be able to give him.

“I don’t know,”

Epsilon said finally.

“I don’t know if I feel any differently. I think I’m still me but I… can’t really tell.”

Carolina nodded, closing her book and placing it in a mail style bag on her side.

“I get it.”

She really didn’t. Carolina wasn’t a master of feelings; she was barely capable of understanding her own feelings, let alone how others felt.

“I told the others we’d join them outside if you woke up in time.”

“What’s everyone doing outside?”

“Moonbathing as Donut put it. Nobody can think of anything else to do right now.”

“Moonbathing.”

Carolina snorted.

“I know!”

Epsilon shook his head and retreated back into her helmet.

“Well, lets go sit outside and bathe in the moon.”

Carolina didn’t put him on her head.

Epsilon wasn’t sure what that meant.

\---

It took about 25 minutes of a silent - but not uncomfortable - elevator ride to reach the surface.

The freelancers had taken over an old defunct UNSC base, decommissioned after the war, and made it their home. Everything was state of the art and there was no real reason for anyone to ever leave the base. 

There were pools for swimming laps, relaxation saunas, food storages large enough to feed an army for generations… Everything anyone could ever want for was provided for.

It just kind of lacked any real substance behind it.

A part of Epsilon understood why moonbathing seemed so appealing. Sunbathing was too risky - anyone could see them - but at least with moonbathing you got some fresh air.

“Hey!”

Carolina called out to the lounging men and women.

“Oh! Hey Carolina!”

Wash sat up on his fold out beach chair, waving his hand at her lazily as he pushed Tucker off of the end of his seat with his foot.

“How's the moon?”

Epsilon purred, manifesting himself on top of Carolinas head. AIs can have a little annoying sibling energy, as a treat.

“It’s the moon.”

Tucker groaned from his newfound position on the sand.

“It’s lovely!”

Donut - in all his half naked glory - never ceased to make every overjoyed word sound like a song. 

“Hey, Lina,”

York called to her from a nearby pile of smooth rocks.

“Got you a drink. Full disclosure: it's beer in a cup.”

“You mind staying here?”

Carolina looked up at Epsilon, doing her best to make contact with a man out of her range of vision.

“Sure, just set me down with Tucker or something.”

Carolina did as Epsilon suggested, leaving him to deal with both Tucker and his confused emotional state.

“Sup, Church.”

To an untrained Tucker didn’t actually seem that interested in what his friend was doing and feeling.

But Epsilon was not an untrained eye.

He knew Tucker. 

He knew that Tucker had been worried sick wondering about him, stressing over whether or not he’d even be the same person he had been before when he woke up. Tucker was scared he was going to lose his friend - for real this time. 

They  _ were  _ friends after all.

And, despite all the strange feelings boiling up in Epsilon, he knew that deep down his feelings about Tucker hadn’t really changed. Tucker was still Tucker.

And he was still his friend.

Maybe that was good enough for now.

Maybe it was good enough to know that Tucker loved him - in his own way - and that even if everything was different, Epsilon still loved Tucker.

“Not much.”

Epsilon dismissed Tucker's feelings with a wave of his hand.

“You?”

Tucker gave a noncommittal shrug.

“Not much.”

Neither of them said anything of substance for the rest of the night, never opting to speak about the unspoken emotional tension that lay thick and heavy between them. 

Neither of them could bring themselves to say three simple words.

Three simple words that probably wouldn’t even change anything between them.

They were still dudes after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate writing dudes by the way theyre so fuckin dense.


	15. Wash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw   
> ptsd  
> dudes bein dudes

Tucker fell asleep before Epsilon even realized he had stopped talking.

It only took a few hours for everyone except for Epsilon - of course - and Washington to fall asleep. 

Carolina dozed off leaning on York's shoulder, Texas locked her armour and began to snore, South curled up cuddling her jacket… Everybody was asleep in varying positions, blindly trusting the base's proximity alerts to wake them up if so much as a seagull flew overhead.

Wash, however, stayed awake, watching the stars with an unreadable expression.

It was honestly kind of weird sitting there beside him, watching his chest rise and fall. 

Epsilon guessed, if he was being honest with himself, he couldn’t help but feel like he had to say something to him. 

Epsilon had been the prototype for his father's research, maybe if he hadn’t been such an ass that made it impossible to work with him he would have never outsourced AI work to CHARON and Wash would have never been taken.

Maybe a lot of things wouldn’t have happened if he hadn't been such an incorrigible ass.

He had never told Carolina what was really going on because he was ashamed of himself, ashamed he hadn’t ever had the balls to stand up to their father. He had never fought back against his dad, never even tried to say no when he was asked to do shady thing after shady thing. He had just… given up, developed an attitude and pushed everyone away.

All Epsilon - all Church - had ever done was take things. He’d just rolled with things, taking each new shitty thing with the same unhappiness and meaningless complaining as he had the last one.

Epsilon snapped himself back the present and shook his head, looking up at Wash.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Wash didn’t even turn to look at him as Epsilon manifested himself in a full size avatar and lounged back in a holographic replica of Wash beach chair.

“Nice weather.”

Epsilon tried again.

“Yeah.”

A long silence fell over the two of them, only to be broken by Wash clearing his throat and turning on his chair to look at Epsilon.

“You’ve integrated with the Omega AI now huh?”

Epsilon nodded.

“Mmmhmm. I’ve been having Omega run traces on all of my fathers contact numbers and any sort of camera system we can find in the Dallas area. He’s likely not even in the same city anymore but we might be able to get a trace on some of his employees while they clean things out.”

“So, you think he’s cleaning out Project Freelancer?”

Wash cocked his head to the side.

“I would. He has tons of backup offices and safe houses that he can run the project from remotely but if he’s smart he’ll have picked on I don’t know about yet.”

“Get anything from the bunker files?”

Epsilon sighed.

“I have managed to figure out that CHARON in its entirety went off the map about a week after Tex stormed the bunker. If I had to guess, Project Freelancer decided it was too much of a risk and either absorbed it entirely or wiped it out.”

“So it just comes back to locating your dad then.”

“Yeah.”

“How are you holding up?”

Epsilon has to take a second to realize that Wash is asking if he’s okay. Nobody except Carolina has ever asked if he was okay before.

“Oh…”

His voice sounds distant when he talks.

“I’m okay.”

Wash takes a while to speak but, somehow, Epsilon doesn’t seem to feel as anxious awaiting his next words as he thought he might.

“Listen, Epsilon, you’ve been avoiding me for months. I’m not blind, I just want to know why.”

“I’m… I uh… Just wanted to say that I’m sorry that I didn’t stop what happened to you. The only reason the director kept experimenting is because I never let him know exactly how effective my integration was.”

And then the curse of being a dude set in again and neither of them spoke for quite some time.

“You don’t have to be sorry,”

Wash said finally.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s the Director that sucks.”

“Yeah,”

Epsilon nodded slightly.

“Yeah okay.”

Maybe if he shut up and kept quiet, he could convince himself that was it. 

It was as simple as that… the director was the problem, not him. It wasn’t him purposefully choosing alcoholism and anger, it was the director.

It wasn’t Church. It was just… Church. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUDES BEIN DUDES THE FUCKING SEQUEL NO BODY ASKED FOR   
> I HATE DUDES SO MUCH WHY WE GOTTA BE LIKE THIS HUH  
> WHY WE GOTTA DO THIS
> 
> one time i got into it with a dude friend of mine and we didn't talk for days and then we resolved it by sharing a bag of chips and that was peak dude intimacy


	16. I forget you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no cws

Epsilon didn’t really have much else to say to anyone after the brief and forced interaction with Wash. It wasn’t until long after Washington had finally dozed off that he even bothered to push himself forwards out of his calculations to do yet another visual scan of the area.

To Epsilon's surprise, the second he did so he was greeted by Texas. 

**“Hey.”**

Epsilon had to stop himself from having a simulated heart attack.

“Uh- Hey!”

“ **I need to talk to you.”**

Epsilon once more materialized himself in a full body avatar, crossing his legs under him as he looked her up and down.

“Uh-... Sure. How long have you been awake.”

“ **A while,** ”

Texas pulled at her helmet, yanking it off as she sat across from Epsilon on the sandy beach they had settled themselves on.

“I need to talk to you."

"You said."

Epsilon looked her up and down, trying to get a read on her expression. Somehow she was as unreadable without the helmet as with.

"You've integrated with Omega."

"Yeah."

"What did he say about me?"

"It's not really… what he  _ said _ ."

"So. You know."

"Yeah."

"You're not going to start singing my praises or writing me love letters are you?"

Epsilon thought long and hard about what he would say before finally opening his mouth.

"No."

"Good."

"But… I am going to ask you questions as they come up."

"Like what?"

Epsilon wasn't sure yet but he did have a few things he figured needed to be said. 

"I don't know who Omega was to you before he was Omega. And I don't know who you were to them. But I do know that whatever it is that you and Omega had, I'm not him. And I can't ever  _ be  _ him.

I can't fix whatever relationship problems you had. I can't be the way that you tell yourself you're making up for things."

Texas didn't respond.

"I can't fix you and I can't fix Omega so… All I can do is just,"

Epsilon sighed.

"Forget you. And forget whatever it is that Omega wants me to remember. It took me a few days to figure it out but I can't keep feeling this way, I can't keep worrying about you endlessly. I can't wait around for you to realize I'm not Omega or waiting for him to realize you're not the Allison he remembers.

All I can really do is just forget I ever saw anything."

Texas didn't seem to have a good answer. 

Epsilon wanted to reach out to her and tell her something that would make her feel better but was stopped by a ping on one of his traces.

For the first time in anyone's life the Director was helpful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayhow


	17. Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no cws

If Epsilon had known he'd never speak to Carolina privately again, he probably wouldn't have began the conversation with such a stupid question.

"How are you feeling?"

Epsilon asked her, watching her click her armour sealings into place one by one.

"Fine."

Carolina grunted.

"-All we know is that he's been in the upper Detroit area-"

Epsilon had never realized how distinctly New York-ish York's accent sounded before. It was honestly kind of funny to hear him talk. If he wasn't so focused on Carolina he probably would have made a snide comment or two about his and Souths conversation.

"Are you sure?"

Epsilon tried her again.

Carolina paused, finally stopping in her preparations.

"He's probably going to the outpost just outside of Detroit right? The one he had you set up a few months before we left, right?"

Epsilon nodded.

"It's where he had me ship the more experimental UNSC equipment. There's a dumb AI running things, he probably thinks that it'd be enough to slow my progress through his system long enough for detection."

"Would it?"

"Probably, if he's been smart enough to have back up AI synapses and redundancy detectors. The sheer excess weight you can load onto a dumb AI is more than enough to slow a smart AIs path through it."

"So, assuming he's been smart. What kind of experimental stuff are we looking for?"

"Armour mostly. Ever since the success of the SPARTAN 4 project UNSC has been experimenting on outsourcing armour designs to outside companies. Freelancers for the most part."

"We have GOT to get better names for every freelancer thing we are BARRELLING towards a misunderstanding."

York called from the other side of the preparation room.

"Agreed!"

South chimed in from somewhere out of visual range.

"We'll deal with that later."

Carolina waved her hand dismissively before grabbing her helmet and shoving it on roughly.

\--- 

"Hey, Lina, before we get on the plane, can you let me say a few words to someone?"

Carolina would have probably preferred to leave the second the plane was loaded but, for whatever reason, she didn't seem to mind letting Epsilon slip out of her helmet momentarily and reach himself back into the base comms. 

It was kind of a pain to connect to systems remotely but Epsilon figured he'd probably hate himself if he didn't at least try.

He found Caboose and Tucker in the same room, the mess hall.

"Church!"

Caboose clapped excitedly, having dropped his lunch tray the second Epsilon materialized on the table between them.

"Hell are you still doing here?"

Tucker wasn't known for his friendly warmth towards his dude friends.

"I'm holding up just fine thanks for asking, Lavernius."

Epsilon groaned to himself before turning to look back at Caboose.

“I just wanted to let you know that uh… I’m going to be gone for a while again and I want to make sure you’re going to be okay.”

Caboose nodded enthusiastically.

“Me and Freckles are already planning your return party!”

Right, Epsilon had almost forgotten about the random mecha that Caboose had adopted. He wasn’t really sure he wanted to come back and see that now.

“Once you get rid of the Director we can all go back to our lives finally right?”

Tucker waved his hand in front of Epsilon, cutting his attention away from Caboose.

“Yeah,”

Epsilon nodded, turning his head back to look at Tucker.

“We’ll all go back to our lives. Me and Lina might wind up staying here but… you two are welcome to go home.”

“Great!”

Tucker yawned, leaning back in his chair.

“Then hurry up and get going.”

“Tucker!”

Caboose chastised him, waving a finger at him like he was some intellectual monitoring his misbehaving pupil.

“Yeah, yeah,”

Epsilon smirked slightly before stepping back along the table so as to best take in the both of them.

“I just wanted to say goodbye.”

“Yeah, bye Church,”

Tucker didn’t even look at him before resuming his sandwich.

“See you on the other side.”

“Bye Church!”

At least Caboose waved to him.

In an odd way, Epsilon kind of hated that Tucker hadn’t even properly said goodbye to him. 

Was Epsilon turning into a bitch?

He figured he’d have to wait until he got back to answer that one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just say goodbye to ur homies dudes  
> just say u love ur homies


	18. Something about Sigma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no cws

Epsilon spent most of the flight watching 479er absently hum to herself and the entirety of the drive through the Detroit area watching York do the same.

He figured there was probably a reason why Texas had ordered every available freelancer to come with them - just in case things went south - but it was kind of weird sitting sandwiched in between Maine and South. There was a sense of worry settling over Epsilon, no matter how he looked at it, there was something wrong with the two of them. 

Carolina probably didn’t even notice it; she had grown close to Maine and South in the past six months, she wouldn’t want to see anything she couldn’t deal with. She wouldn’t want to look at Maine as he constantly typed away to Sigma on his wrist and  _ lord _ knows she wasn’t ready to deal with the way that South was glaring daggers into Texs back.

Carolina just wasn’t ready to have that conversation.

“So,”

York turned to look at Carolina and Epsilon, leaning back in the comfortable shotgun position he had nestled himself into.

“How are we doing?”

“We’re going to enter detection range in half an hour, we’ll have to continue on foot from there on. You should make sure the others are doing the same.”

Epsilon didn’t think to let Carolina answer.

York shrugged.

“Florida and Wash will be okay, don’t worry about it. I was asking about how everyone was feeling.”

“Fine.”

Maines' wrist beeped back.

“Lets just get this over with.”

South grunted.

“Yeah,”

Carolina nodded slightly.

“The faster we find out if he’s really in there the faster-”

“The faster we get to storming the place and mounting his head on a pike.”

York waved his hand dismissively. 

“You went over the plan eighty seven times on the way here, Lina.”

Epsilon had never met anyone who could interrupt Carolina so callously and get away with it. He didn’t have any fear that she might not take too kindly to it or even a shred of worry that she might just smack him upside the head.

Carolina sighed, once more startling Epsilon with how little she seemed to care that York had interrupted her.

“I know. It’s just that… I don’t know.”

“We’ll. Be. Fine.”

Maine beeped.

“Yeah. Lets just this fucking over with. Once this assholes’ dead we can just go back to business as usual.”

South agreed.

“Hey, Lina. You… are going to stay with us right? After all this is over?”

York sounded… worried.

“Of course!”

Carolina, never one for understanding emotional cues, didn’t even seem to register the underlying tone in Yorks shaky voice. 

Epsilon wouldn’t call himself an expert in emotional intelligence but he knew worry when he heard it.

He didn’t try to keep listening in on everyone's conversation for long after that. There was no real point, nobody was talking to him.

He spent the rest of the drive thinking over every possible way everything could go sideways. 

If his dad was smart he would have set up foreign technology detectors; the second any piece of unknown or unregistered technology entered the vicinity he’d have thousands of alarms lighting up the place. Epsilon figured he could probably hide the signals of the freelancers armour under UNSC flags - they did still all have UNSC IDs he could fake - but there was something nagging at him, pulling at the back of his mind like he was forgetting something that he really shouldn’t have forgotten.

It was like… someone in the back of his subconscious was trying to warn him about something.

“We’re. Here.”

Maine was the one to drag Epsilon out of his self induced stupor.

“Epsilon?”

Carolina asked cautiously.

“Are you alright? Ready to go?”

“Yeah,”

Epsilon murmured back, watching her step out of the car like he was watching a far off film out of the corner of his eye.

“Let’s go.”

Something just wasn’t right.

Something about Sigma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun Dun DUHH


	19. Sigma Saves The Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw  
> guns  
> violence  
> blood

Epsilon could actually pinpoint the exact moment when it all went to hell.

Everything was fine until Texas motioned for Maine to walk forward into the detection field. 

Everybody else had managed to cross over the fence without incident, not even Carolina and her AI brother set off any alarms.

But no, at the exact moment that Maine lifted his leg over the low fence wire, Epsilon remembered what it was about Sigma that he had forgotten to account for.

That motherfucker had a habit of reusing old bits of remote controls to make his communicators.

"FUCK!"

Carolina cried, flattening herself to a nearby rock the second she heard the alarms start to blare. 

"Aw you don't know the half of it."

Epsilon agreed, nodding along to her exclamation like she had said something monumental as he pulled himself out of organic time and into his own mental loop.

There were a few things to take in before he could do anything.

First, he examined the layout. The bunker itself was nestled firmly into a man made canyon - which had been a pain to drive into - with both sides of the canyon walls lined with metal over passes for guardsmen to watch from.

Hmmpf. That was problematic.

"So,"

Delta appeared in the corner of his vision.

"Good to see you again."

"No it isn't."

Epsilon waved his hand dismissively, looking around him at the guards posting.

"Bring me the purple one, I want him on her reflexes, see what he can do to speed them up."

Delta nodded, strolling closer to him.

"Even with his reflex enhancements, there still remains a 98% chance of severe bodily damage."

Epsilon groaned, nodding slightly as he scanned over each and every new approaching guard. It wasn't as if Carolina couldn't take the ground based guards, they were no problem, it was the snipers filing one by one onto the nearby overpass that were the problem.

"So. What do we think the odds of anyone noticing Carolinas leg is in perfect position to be shot to hell by the sniper with the green eyes?"

"There is approximately 0.07% chance that anyone except for York will be within range of Carolina when the shot goes off."

Delta didn't sugarcoat things.

"So, why can't we rely on York?"

"Well, since we are to the left of York, we are actually relying on the other Delta. Who is not worried for our safety."

"Right, he's focused on York."

"So,"

Epsilon watched as the shot that was destined to cut through Carolinas femoral artery was fired in slow motion.

"What do _we_ do?"

"Unknown."

_ Thanks for the help, Delta. _

"We could sacrifice her left arm armouring."

Epsilon decided to ignore that Sigma had been the one to suggest it. He might have been mad at any and all versions of Sigma but he wasn't stupid.

"How do we do that?"

"At this angle her leg armour will not protect her but if we take control of her armour reflexes we can move her arm down to her leg and shield the vulnerable area."

"What's the probability the shot will damage her armour?"

"At this velocity and angle it's a guaranteed fact."

Sigma shrugged from somewhere in Epsilons mind.

"But she'll be fine?"

"Yes."

"Make it so."

In the next few seconds, Epsilon watched in normal time, as Carolina swung her arm down at high speeds to shield her vulnerable under knee area and screamed out in pain as a high caliber round tore through the seams holding her armour plating to her arm and sent her reeling back.

Despite the immense shock at her over movements and subsequent fall out, Carolina was 97% alright. Her armour wasn't looking too hot but that wasn't important.

Yet.

_ Don't make me wait so long before you save the day next time, Sigma _ .

Epsilon grumbled.

  
_ Noted _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sigma both ruins and saves rthe day


	20. The Final Countdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw  
> violence

Epsilon kind of wished he had never seen Carolina in action before, he wanted to be impressed all over again.

It didn't take long for Carolina to recover from her injury - exactly thirty seven seconds - and begin rushing forwards towards the first open door she saw, kicking through any and all resistance she was faced with. 

_ She's faster by 8.7% _ .

Delta mused in Epsilon ear as Carolina reached the door.

_ Likely because she hasn't thought to be worried about anyone else. _

Omega rumbled.

_ Both of you, quiet. _

Epsilon couldn’t focus on their bantering right now.

“Carolina, at least tell people what you’re doing. If you have to go in there alone at least make sure they can tell where you’re heading.”

Carolina nodded, skidding to an abrupt stop in front of the door.

“Patch me through to the others comm systems.”

Epsilon did as he was told.

“I’m going in,”

Carolina told everyone, a new sense of calm and purpose washing over her.

“Try and follow me in if you can, split up and try and find the Director.”

_ Split up? _

Delta sounded concerned more than he was confused.

_ We have the layout right here, if he’s here we’re the only ones who know where he’ll be. _

Epsilon didn’t really need Delta to say that, of course he knew where the Director - his father - was. If he was really here he would be up the stairs to the left of them and four doors down, holed up in his computer room watching the cameras. 

It didn’t really matter that Carolina was well aware where everything was or that there was probably no way in hell God Herself could come down and stop Carolina on her way towards the room. Nothing really mattered to Carolina right now.

All Carolina cared about was her father. 

She had questions, demands and worries that had never been alleviated.

If Church - Epsilon - was being honest with himself, he wasn’t even sure why he was there. 

He knew in theory that he was there to make sure Carolina was okay and make sure that their father got what was coming to him.

  
  


But somehow, as he watched Carolina pry open the heavy metal doors sealing the man away from the action and looked over the graying back of his father's head, Epsilon couldn’t help but feel like they weren’t really here for any good reason. 

Had they ever even asked him why? What was his motive?

Why?

“Hello, Carolina.”

The Director didn’t even look up from his video, keeping his eyes on the blonde woman waving goodbye to the camera. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter might be a bit late its long and takes some editin but itll still be up tmmr


	21. Mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw  
> guns

Carolinas footfalls were full of purpose, each one bringing her closer to the object of her desire.

"Carolina."

The Director sounded small, somehow.

"I thought you might show up."

"Director."

Carolina looked down at him, raising her brow slightly.

Epsilon scanned the Directors desk, looking for anything that might be able to distract him from the burning anger boiling within him. 

It didn’t take long to find something sufficiently distracting.

Epsilon hadn’t been paying attention when they walked in but he couldn’t help but notice now when he looked at the datapad the Director had laying haphazardly in front of him on the desk, he couldn’t help but notice the repeating video footage of a blonde he almost recognized talking to the camera.

“Leonard c’mon. You’re going to make me late.”

The woman sounded… affectionate, playful almost.

Leonard. 

That was him.

No, that wasn’t right.

That was his father.

Epsilon projected himself out of Carolinas helmet, straightening himself out so he could look at the Director - his father - and Carolina as they both looked down at the video footage.

“So, this is what you’ve become. Just a man, sitting in the dark, watching old home videos.”

Carolina was quiet when she finally spoke.

“I just need to watch this,”

The director looked up at Carolina.

“I think I finally found a way. I can bring her back right this time.” 

_ This time?  _ Who WAS this woman?  _ What was he talking about? _

_ No! Stop thinking about this! Shut UP!  _

Epsilon shoved his anger aside, forcing himself to shut the hell up. 

He didn’t want this bullshit pathetic  _ emotion _ clouding his judgement, the only emotion that was allowed to cloud his judgement was ANGER!

**_The Director -_ ** Leonard Church  **_\- needed to fucking PAY!_ **

That was why he came here in the first place! To make him pay! To STOP this! To let his friends go home! To let Carolina finally be free of the stress she had been carrying for MONTHS!

**_“No!”_ **

Epsilon felt his form flicker.

“You have to answer for what you've  _ DONE!  _ To Washington! To Carolina! TO ME!”

The director didn’t even… look at him.

“Hello, Epsilon. You came all this way just to see me?”

He didn’t even give him the RESPECT of calling him by his name, just his fucking unit.  _ Bastard. _ Epsilon wanted to rip him to SHREDS and piss all over the pieces left behind.

“No! I’m here to REMEMBER what you’ve DONE!”

“Church.”

Carolina turned to look at him.

“NO! Not all of us got off so scott fucking free Carolina! He was brilliant, he was my damn father! I trusted him! But  _ he lied! _ He TWISTED and TORTURED me! He used me for his own purposes! And FOR WHAT!”

Epsilon felt his voice falter.

“FOR NOTHING?”

Carolina didn’t respond, instead reaching up to her helmet and pulling it off, looking down at the Director.

“Why?”

The Director, finally looking up from his video obsession, turned to Carolina.

Carolina didn’t say anything.

Why wasn’t she SAYING ANYTHING! WHY WASN’T SHE AS MAD AS HE WAS?  **_DIDN'T ANYBODY CARE THAT HE WAS MAD?_ **

**_MOTHERFUCKER WHY WASN’T ANYBODY MAD!_ **

**_WHO THE FUCK WAS THIS WOMAN?_ **

**_WHAT WAS SO SPECIAL ABOUT THIS STUPID_ ** **FUCKING** **_VIDEO CLIP?_ **

“C’mon Church, we need to help the others.”

What? WHAT?

“I THOUGHT we came all this way, did all this fucking WORK,  _ TO KILL HIM!” _

“Church,”

Epsilon - Church - had never heard Carolina like this.

“You know what I’ve learned these past six months?”

Church - Epsilon - had to hear what this bullshit was going to be. What could she possibly say that would explain this? What could POSSIBLY make this better? What could make this make SENSE?

“You need to… let go. Your past doesn’t define who you are, it just gives you the starting point on who you’re going to be.”

Church felt something stop inside of him.

What was she talking about? Who was this woman? What did any of this matter?

Carolina… went to leave, walking away without doing anything.

“Carolina.”

The Director - his father - held up his hand to stop her.

“Yes, Director?”

“Would you be so kind as to leave me your pistol?”

Church could only watch, wordlessly, as Carolina unhooked one of the pistols from her hip and placed it in front of their father - the director.

Why was she giving him anything? 

Church didn’t understand.

Who was this woman? What was so important about this video tape? Why didn’t anybody care that he was sad?

_ Why couldn’t AIs cry? Who designed that?  _

__ “Thank you, Carolina.”

“Goodbye, dad.”

Carolina left, pulling Church with her as she pushed open the door and re-entered the fray.

Church didn’t understand.

Why?

Why didn’t anybody care that he was sad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> were getting close to the curtain call lads


	22. Faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw  
> major character death  
> violence  
> tex robotds

Epsilon, realizing rather quickly that he couldn’t waste his time thinking too hard on what had happened, was confronted with what could only be described as a fresh hell of robots that all suspiciously sounded like the woman on the video.

“ **GOD DAMNIT.”**

If Epsilon could have he’d have jumped back fifty feet the second he saw Texas throw one of the robots into the wall beside Carolina.

“ **Of course they’d be here!”**

“What are these motherfuckers?”

York asked her, slamming his foot into the visor of one of the robots.

“That’s a great question!”

Florida chirped from somewhere outside of Carolinas visor view.

“Texas!”

Carolina leaned over the railing.

“What are these things?”

“ **They’re experiments! I’ll tell you later! We need to find somewhere to fortify ourselves!”**

“Church?”

Carolina asked, removing the remaining pistol from her hip.

“Uh- Downstairs, down the hall and first door to the left. There’s armour storage and weaponry in there!”

Carolina didn’t need any prompting, she ran all the way to the picked out door, only holding it open long enough for everybody to squeeze in with her.

The second that Epsilon took in the room around them he had come to a decision.

He didn’t know what the robots outside were, nor did he know how many of them there were. He didn’t really know anything about... anything.

But he did know that Carolinas armour was damaged and even the slightest of structural integrity issue could leave her unable to maintain her armours enhancements in a fight.

“Carolina! Grab that armour over there.”

He highlighted one of the experimental suits hanging in the corner.

“I don’t want you using damaged armour.”

Once again, Carolina didn’t really need any prompting.

This time, when Epsilon was plunged into the in-between state, he didn’t think to fight back against Omegas influence. Omega had already figured it out, there was no real point in fighting it.

_ After all this, you’re not even going to ask her what happened back there? That’s it? You’re just going to accept this? _

What else could he do?

Carolina fit the armour well, unfazed by the sudden weight change and new found enhancements.

“What’s so special about this armour, Church?”

Carolina hadn’t picked it out yet. She hadn’t figured out what was so important about a suit of armour that looked relatively the same as hers.

“Other than looking pretty fucking sick.”

York purred.

“It's faster, stronger and overall more durable.”

“Some. Kind. Of. Prototype.” 

“Well Sigma had to steal his designs from somewhere.”

Epsilon couldn’t tell but he had the distinct feeling Maine was growling at him.

“ **Everybody grab something to defend yourself with.”**

Texas didn’t really need to explain, everybody knew that there was bound to be a firefight. The things outside didn’t really seem to care how pathetic the Director was; they were single minded and violent.

The door began to creak and strain against the force of outsiders pounding away at it.

“You are going to explain more about these things when we’re out of here right Texas?”

Carolina didn’t even sound that mad.

That was good, Epsilon wanted to remember her not mad.

“Delta?”

Time slowed.

Delta appeared in the corner of Epsilons vision.

_ “Are you… certain about this armour? There could still be time to grab a less powerful one.” _

“No, there isn’t.”

Delta knew that.

“ _ We still don’t know what those things outside are. Carolina could be perfectly fine with her old armaments.” _

“Or not.”

_ “Or... not.” _

“Delta, I want you to start some recordings for me.”

_ “Of course.” _

There, Epsilon - Church - thought. 

“Hey guys... if you're hearing this then it means you did it. You won. You kicked the shit out of a bunch of freaky robots that Texas never bothered to explain. 

I knew you could. 

_ But  _ this is my last stop. 

See, when I came into this world, I was really just a collection of somebody else's memories. I wasn’t Church, and I wasn’t Omega. I wasn’t even that good at being Epsilon.

But these past few months, I’ve got to see the kind of people you are. The kind of person I want to be. I didn’t need to be Church or Omega, I just needed to be Epsilon. 

And it was really fun being Epsilon.

I had my own voice,  _ my _ own personality. I wasn’t just Church to you - especially not you Carolina, you never took me for granted. 

And, after a while, I... I began to make brand new memories of my own. 

All of these things are what make me who I am... but they're also holding me back

I can't run this suit as Epsilon.

I can’t run it as Church either.

I’m not an AI built for this kind of job, I was a data AI.

But if I erase my memories and lean into Omega, if I... deconstruct myself, the AI I'll leave behind will have the strength to get you through this. 

He’ll know what to do.

Even if he’s kind of a pain.

I have to believe that deep down, he’s just as motivated to get out of here as me.

I wish that there was another way. 

I wish I knew a way that I could change my arrangements in a matter of minutes and formulate myself into a whole other AI.

But I'm leaving this message, as well as others, in the hopes that you'll understand why I have to go.

It was actually… seeing that video with Carolina that made me realize something that I've never thought of before. 

There are so many stories where people set off in search of answers about themselves and about where they came from, where they’re going. They... they strike out and they’re hell bound to find out everything they don't know.

But when they do find answers… the reconciliation they’re hoping for, it doesn’t make them happy. Sometimes it doesn’t even make sense.

Sometimes, after all the months and years of wanting revenge or conclusion to their suffering, they find out they didn’t really know anything. Everything that they thought made sense just suddenly… blows up.

I still don’t know what it is about that video that would motivate the Director or… or even what the fuck it is that I’m doing this for.

But, Carolina, you… you saw something I didn’t.

And, even if you don’t know everything, you know why we’re here.

And I just have to have faith that you have a good reason.

I have to just trust that you know what you’re doing and that whatever it was that that video meant to you, it was important enough for you to turn around like everything that happened was for nothing.

I just have to have faith.

Ain’t that a bitch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM ITS FUCKING DONE IM SO FUCKING DONE
> 
> WILL A DO A SEQUEL SERIES? WHO KNOWS! I SURE DON'T   
> BUT FUCK IT HERE IT IS WHOLE ASS SERIES DONE   
> I GOT THIS OUT IN UNDER THREE MONTHS AND IM STILL FUCJING REELING
> 
> HJERE IT IS IM TAKING A BREAK
> 
> MY SIXTY CHAPTER DEBUT WORK ON THIS PSEUD IS DONE AND IM GOING TO FUCKING NAP FOR SEVEN YEAFS


End file.
